Soft White Underbelly - Redemption For a Mob Associate-Robert Borelli
The speaker recounts his upbringing in a tough Brooklyn neighborhood, where he was drawn to the gangster lifestyle due to its allure of respect, money, and power. Despite his parents' hard work, financial struggles led him to seek a different path. He became involved with local gangsters, running errands and eventually participating in illegal activities. His life spiraled into crime, including murder charges and drug addiction, particularly to crack cocaine. After numerous incarcerations and feeling abandoned, he found solace in reading the Bible, which led to a spiritual transformation. He now dedicates his life to ministry, helping others overcome addiction and sharing his story of redemption. His message emphasizes God's unconditional love and the possibility of change, regardless of past actions. He also shares his experience in the witness protection program and how he rebuilt his life, finding fulfillment in helping others and living a purpose-driven life.
Key Points:
- Growing up in a crime-ridden neighborhood influenced his early fascination with gangster life.
- Financial struggles at home pushed him towards illegal activities for quick money and respect.
- Involvement in crime led to multiple incarcerations and severe drug addiction, particularly to crack cocaine.
- A spiritual awakening through reading the Bible helped him overcome addiction and find a new purpose.
- He now works in ministry, helping others with addiction and sharing his story to inspire change.
Details:
1. 🌆 Brooklyn Beginnings: Gangster Allure
- The narrator grew up in Brooklyn, New York, in a neighborhood infamous for its connection to 'Murder Incorporated,' a notorious gangster organization, creating an environment filled with intrigue and allure.
- Many residents were either relatives of former gangsters or familiar with the gangster lifestyle, which deeply influenced the local culture and the narrator's perspective.
- The narrator's interest in gangster culture was fueled by classic movies featuring actors like James Cagney and Humphrey Bogart, which portrayed gangsters as figures of power, wealth, and respect.
- The presence of gangster culture in the neighborhood was a significant factor in shaping the narrator's views on power and influence, as evidenced by their fascination with the lifestyle and the respect gangsters commanded.
- Specific anecdotes or stories about local figures or neighborhood events could further illustrate the impact of this environment on the narrator's upbringing and worldview.
2. 📉 Family Hardships and Formative Years
2.1. Financial Struggles and Aspirations
2.2. Exposure to Gang Activity
3. 👥 Embracing the Underworld
- Survival and success in high-stakes environments required a strategy of 'fight hard or run fast,' demonstrating the importance of adaptability and decisiveness.
- Forming alliances with influential local figures provided both protection and opportunities, exemplified by the narrator gaining acceptance into a club and performing tasks for respected individuals.
- The narrative highlights how respect and influence can often surpass legal authority, with local figures holding significant power to mediate conflicts and reduce police intervention.
- The allure of respect, financial success, and a glamorous lifestyle served as a powerful motivator for engagement with these figures, underscored by their appearance, wealth, and social connections.
- An anecdote involving a local figure showcases how community respect and perceived power can alter social dynamics and offer strategic advantages.
4. 🔪 Crime and Its Consequences
- Early criminal activities began between ages 13 and 16, indicating significant early exposure to crime.
- Engagement in selling illegal fireworks in New York marks the beginning of small-scale illegal trade activities.
- Involvement in errands related to sports betting shows early participation in gambling-related crime.
- Connections with organized crime figures like Anthony Rugiano and 'Fat Andy' demonstrate ties to major crime families.
- The appeal of social gatherings and respect within the crime community highlights the allure of power and recognition.
- Emulation of crime figures due to their respect and power was a major motivator for deeper involvement.
- At age 17, significant criminal associations were formed, marking deeper entrenchment in organized crime.
- Normalization of violence is evident through regular occurrences of bar fights and similar incidents.
- The impact of these activities extends to personal life, influencing relationships and future choices.
- Community impact includes increased local crime rates and the perpetuation of criminal culture.
5. 🚔 Facing the Law
- The individual and his friend, wanted for murder, sought refuge with families across New York and New Jersey to avoid arrest.
- After a federal raid in New Jersey, they were forced to return to Brooklyn, highlighting the constant threat of capture.
- Nikki Karazzo, a key figure in organized crime, offered them protection, facilitating their integration into this new lifestyle.
- Driving Nikki around in a Cadillac symbolized their acceptance into the crime world, marking a significant lifestyle shift.
- A glass attack incident during an altercation underscored the violent, pride-driven environment they had entered.
- The individual was heavily influenced by street values, prioritizing ego and retaliation, indicating a deep immersion into criminal culture.
6. 🏛️ Trials and Stand-Up Reputation
- The speaker was involved in a violent lifestyle, feeling that their choices were limited to either killing or being killed.
- An incident occurred where the speaker used a friend's gun, leading to an arrest when they were found unconscious in a car by the police.
- Despite being on the run for a murder case and using a fake ID, the speaker's lawyer secured a $400 bail for their release.
- The speaker attended court for the weapon charge but was subsequently arrested for a separate murder case linked to a stabbing, highlighting a potential misidentification.
- Known in the area, the speaker's identity may have led to mistaken accusations in the murder case.
- Held without bail for the murder charge, the speaker was rebooked under a different name, showcasing legal identity challenges.
- Following advice from a mentor, the speaker maintained silence about the murder, considered an act of loyalty and a way to preserve their reputation.
- The speaker's experience underscores the complexities of legal identity management and the strategic decisions involved in navigating the justice system.
7. 💸 Power, Wealth, and the Drug Trade
- The narrator faced a murder trial with five eyewitnesses but was acquitted after a five-day trial. This acquittal significantly enhanced his reputation on Moberry Street.
- Despite being offered a plea deal for two murders and weapon possession, the narrator chose to refuse the deal, a decision that was made under pressure without consulting family. This decision earned him heightened respect from his peers.
- After the trial, recognition from influential mob figures placed high expectations on the narrator, leading him to engage in various illegal activities to maintain his status.
- The narrator ran dice games as a means to earn money, illustrating both the allure and risk of the lifestyle he was leading.
- A pivotal moment occurred during a dice game when a well-dressed man lost a large sum without concern. This man was later revealed to be a major Harlem drug dealer, impressing and inspiring the narrator.
- The realization that wealth equates to power and influence drove the narrator to become involved in the cocaine business around the age of 28, marking a strategic decision to live up to the expectations placed upon him.
8. 🎰 Gambling and Downward Spiral
8.1. Disco and Cocaine Culture
8.2. Introduction to Freebasing
8.3. Legal Troubles
8.4. Reentry into Crime
8.5. Unfulfilled Satisfaction
8.6. Homelessness and Crack Cocaine
9. 🔁 Addiction Cycles and Efforts to Rehabilitate
9.1. Initial Addiction Phase
9.2. Rehabilitation Attempts and Family Support
10. 🏠 Homelessness and Rock Bottom
- The individual faced chronic homelessness and addiction, living in New York using crack 24/7, only sleeping when passing out, which highlights the severe impact of addiction on daily life and stability.
- In 1996, the individual was homeless in the streets with multiple legal issues, including a drug case for selling crack to an undercover agent and a RICO case, showing the legal and social consequences of their lifestyle.
- The individual avoided court appearances due to fear of incarceration and the inability to cope with withdrawal, indicating the cycle of addiction and avoidance of responsibility.
- While incarcerated at Riker's Island, the individual struggled with the need for legal representation and commissary support, but faced isolation as friends and family distanced themselves, emphasizing the lack of support systems for those in addiction and legal trouble.
- A pivotal moment occurred when a phone call with the individual's daughter led to a realization of personal pain and the desire for change, showing the emotional turning points that can drive recovery.
- Despite feeling abandoned and hopeless, the individual turned to spirituality, praying for change, which highlights the role of faith and personal reflection in seeking redemption and recovery.
11. 🙏 Redemption Through Faith
- The speaker experienced repeated cycles of imprisonment and substance abuse, feeling hopeless each time they were released.
- A significant turning point came when they began reading the Bible, which replaced their interest in other types of books.
- The Bible provided a sense of being loved unconditionally, particularly through John 3:16, which was pivotal in changing their perspective.
- The speaker now dedicates their life to ministering and helping others in addiction through programs like Celebrate Recovery and speaking engagements.
- They authored a book called 'The Witness,' sharing their story of transformation through faith, emphasizing unconditional love from God.
- Romans 5:8 inspired them, highlighting that Christ died for sinners, which resonated with their personal experiences.
- The government approached them with an offer to testify in a case in exchange for entry into the witness protection program, allowing them to start over.
12. 🔒 Witness Protection and New Beginnings
- The individual decided to start life anew and participated in the witness protection program after being involved in legal trials.
- They testified in only one trial, as the authorities often managed without their testimony, indicating a minimal reliance on them for convictions.
- Upon release, they entered the witness protection program, which included a psychological review and identity change, allowing them to keep their first name but requiring a new last name.
- The individual relocated to San Antonio, Texas, despite having a distinct Brooklyn accent, highlighting challenges in blending into a new environment.
- They maintained a long-distance relationship with a woman from New York, initially communicating through a secure phone line to keep their location confidential.
- The individual proposed marriage to the woman during her visit to San Antonio, despite her limited knowledge of their background, and she accepted.
- They faced personal challenges, including the inability to attend their mother's funeral due to the constraints of the witness protection program, which delayed notification of her passing by three days.
- The psychological review process was thorough, assessing mental readiness for a complete lifestyle change.
- The emotional impact of not being able to attend family events like funerals was profound, underscoring the personal sacrifices involved in witness protection.
13. 💞 Love, Ministry, and Purpose
- Initiated a nursing home ministry, providing love and care twice a week for 13 years, impacting many who were neglected by family and community.
- Facilitated community engagement by organizing recreational activities, including barbecues, to involve families with nursing home residents.
- Transitioned from witness protection to pursuing a ministry calling, ultimately leading to ordination and an associate degree in Biblical studies.
- Achieved 28 years of sobriety from alcohol, drugs, and gambling, attributing transformation to divine intervention.
- Utilized the concept of a clean slate provided by witness protection as a metaphor for spiritual renewal and rebirth in faith.
14. 🔍 Reflection on a Transformed Life
- During his time involved with the mob, Robert was not truly happy despite the fast lifestyle and being paraded around with prominent figures, indicating that external validation did not lead to fulfillment.
- Robert now feels fulfilled and content because he has found a purpose in life beyond crime, highlighting the importance of living with purpose for genuine satisfaction.
- He expressed regret over his past life, not glorifying his gangster lifestyle, which underscores the significance of personal transformation and redemption.
- Robert aims to deliver a message of hope and believes in the potential for change in others, suggesting a focus on positive influence and support for personal growth.