TEDx Talks - OWN - What is OWN ? | Dr Shruti Tandan | TEDxJaslok Hospital and Research Centre
The speaker shares personal experiences of adopting children and the societal perceptions surrounding adoption. They recount an incident where their daughter was teased for not having a 'real' sibling, highlighting the societal bias towards biological connections. This prompted a reflection on what it means to 'own' someone or something. The speaker argues that true ownership is not about legal or biological ties but about shared experiences, values, and emotional bonds. They use examples from religious texts and personal anecdotes to illustrate how broadening the concept of 'own' can lead to harmony and understanding. The speaker suggests that conflicts arise from a narrow understanding of ownership, and expanding this view can lead to a more inclusive and harmonious society.
Key Points:
- Ownership is about emotional and experiential bonds, not just biological ties.
- Adoption challenges societal norms about family and belonging.
- Conflicts often stem from a narrow view of 'ownership' and 'possession.'
- Broadening the concept of 'own' can lead to greater harmony and understanding.
- Shared values and experiences create deeper connections than legal or genetic ties.
Details:
1. 👶 Building a Family Through Adoption
- The family adopted their second daughter 3.5 years after the birth of their eldest child in 2012, marking a significant expansion of their family.
- The bonding and transformation observed between the siblings were enchanting and deeply fulfilling for the parents, showcasing the positive impact of adoption.
- The successful integration and positive experiences with the adopted child inspired the family to further expand by having a third child, illustrating their commitment to growing their family.
- The process of adoption and the subsequent family dynamics reinforced their belief in the strength and joy that adoption can bring, encouraging them to continue building their family.
2. 👧 Sibling Bonds and the Complexity of 'Own'
- The family's decision to adopt a child is openly discussed, showcasing their excitement and the anticipation of a new sibling, reflecting a supportive environment for adoption.
- An incident on the school bus highlighted the complex social perceptions of adoption when a child's classmate implied that an adopted sibling isn't 'your own,' affecting the child emotionally.
- Although the family engages in open discussions about adoption, the 5-year-old was unprepared for the social challenge posed by her classmate, indicating the need for more proactive conversations about social perceptions and identity.
3. 🤔 Redefining Ownership: Legal vs. Emotional
- Ownership extends beyond legal definitions to include emotional and personal connections, highlighting that what people feel they own emotionally can differ significantly from what they legally own.
- Adoption serves as an example where the desire for a biological child conflicts with societal and familial expectations, illustrating the emotional complexity of ownership.
- Cultural and religious perspectives challenge traditional notions of ownership, suggesting that even our bodies may not be truly 'owned' by us, pointing out the limitations of legal definitions.
- A shared piece of land among five brothers illustrates the difference between legal ownership and emotional or effort-based ownership. Only the brother who actively works the land feels a true sense of ownership beyond legal rights, emphasizing the emotional connection to ownership.
4. 🔍 Biological and Emotional Ownership Explored
- Ownership is not solely legal but deeply emotional, highlighting a connection with land through personal interaction.
- Exploration of conception includes natural methods, assisted reproduction, IUI with paternal/donor sperm, IVF with parent/donor genetics, and surrogacy, emphasizing diverse biological connections.
- Ownership extends beyond biological ties, stressing emotional bonds formed through shared experiences and values.
- Emotional ownership is metaphorically described as where the sky meets the earth, illustrating the blend yet distinct aspects.
- Biological nucleic acid sharing does not inherently confer ownership; shared values and emotional connections do.
5. 📚 Wisdom from Mythology: A Broader Perspective of 'Own'
- Mythological examples, such as Dronacharya in Mahabharat, illustrate the conflict of personal attachment versus broader duty; Dronacharya initially chose talent over familial attachment, training Arjun, but later chose his son, leading to his downfall.
- King Dash's desire for a successor in Ramayan led to his downfall due to personal biases, while Janak's adoption of daughters and broader familial view led to more positive outcomes.
- Broadening our concept of 'own' can create harmony, as seen in examples like treating the environment, city, and nation as our own, which leads to responsible actions like not littering, willingly paying taxes, and reducing plastic use.
- The concept of 'owning' extends to modern contexts, such as Messi's performance in the FIFA World Cup, where 'owning' the process means excelling and dominating in a given field.