Rask - Relationships with money & growing wealthy, ft. therapist Marie Verkakis
The conversation explores the intricate relationship between personal well-being and financial management, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and understanding one's relationship with money. The speaker, a therapist, discusses how self-awareness can lead to better financial decisions and goal setting. They highlight the role of therapy in helping individuals and couples navigate financial anxieties and improve communication. The discussion also touches on the importance of addressing mental health issues early and the benefits of having open conversations about money within families. Practical advice is given on how to approach financial discussions with partners and family members, emphasizing the need for empathy, understanding, and structured communication. The speaker also introduces tools and strategies, such as journaling and structured conversations, to facilitate these discussions and improve financial literacy and relationship dynamics.
Key Points:
- Self-reflection is crucial for understanding financial behaviors and setting realistic goals.
- Therapy can help individuals and couples improve communication and manage financial anxieties.
- Open conversations about money within families can reduce taboos and improve financial literacy.
- Structured communication strategies, like using specific phrases, can facilitate better discussions.
- Early intervention in mental health issues can prevent long-term negative impacts on relationships and finances.
Details:
1. 📈 Investing & Holiday Feasting: Tips for 2025
1.1. Investing in 2025
1.2. Holiday Feasting Tips
2. 💡 Financial Advice Disclaimer: A Cautionary Note
- The podcast emphasizes that the financial advice provided is general and not tailored to individual needs, stressing the importance of consulting with a financial adviser before making financial decisions.
- It highlights the importance of self-reflection in managing personal finances, suggesting that one's understanding of their financial behavior is crucial for success.
- An anecdote demonstrates that financial success depends not only on income but also on understanding personal financial behaviors, illustrating that money can disappear despite high earnings.
- The discussion introduces Behavioral Economics, which examines psychological factors influencing financial decisions, a field that has gained prominence over the past decade.
- Listeners are encouraged to align financial goals with personal emotions and feelings, rather than just monetary objectives, to achieve a more balanced financial life.
3. 🔍 Money Relationships: Self-Reflection & Personal Growth
3.1. Guest Introduction
3.2. Impact of Previous Episode
4. 🧠 Therapy Insights: Mental Health and Self-Discovery
- A free journal called 'Get Ready for Therapy' is available for download on the therapy Hub website to help individuals with self-reflection and goal setting, providing prompts such as 'why now' and what individuals are looking for in therapy.
- On average, individuals wait 5 to 7 years before seeking help for therapy, indicating a significant delay in addressing mental health issues.
- The goal is to reduce this waiting period and encourage earlier engagement with mental health resources.
- The journal aids in self-discovery by prompting individuals to reflect on their current mental state and therapy objectives, potentially shortening the time before seeking therapy.
- The initiative aims to enhance therapy preparation and engagement by offering structured reflection tools that can lead to more effective therapy sessions.
5. 👥 Couples & Communication: The Role of Therapy
- Therapy offers unique perspectives and insights that individuals might not recognize on their own, similar to consulting specialists for physical health issues.
- In couple therapy, having both partners present allows therapists to observe and address communication patterns and misunderstandings in real-time.
- Beyond traditional mental health professionals, avenues like pastoral care, chaplains, and community elders offer accessible mental health support tailored to diverse needs.
- Navigating the numerous mental health resources is akin to selecting specific specialists for physical health, emphasizing the importance of finding the right fit for individual needs.
6. 💬 Talk Therapy Benefits: Realizations and Growth
- The speaker initially had misconceptions about therapy, questioning its practical outcomes due to an 'engineering brain' mentality, seeking direct cause-and-effect results.
- Through talk therapy, the speaker experienced personal growth by 'talking their way into realizations' and feeling better, indicating a more introspective benefit of therapy rather than immediate practical results.
- The conversation touches on the idea of quantifying well-being, similar to financial advising, suggesting a need for metrics that reflect the impact of therapy on personal relationships and overall happiness.
- The impact of interpersonal conflict on personal well-being is highlighted, with an example of how a fight with a partner before work can lead to a negative mood and affect sleep, potentially impacting physiology and outlook over time.
7. ⚖️ Balancing Mental Health and Relationships
- Loneliness is identified as a leading cause of death and disability, surpassing smoking, which underscores the critical role of relationships in enhancing mental health and increasing life expectancy.
- Mental health improvement can be achieved by revising unhelpful beliefs and cognitive distortions through various talk therapies, akin to updating mental 'software'.
- Effective communication in relationships often breaks down due to both parties feeling unheard, highlighting the need for tools and skills to facilitate better conversations and emotional management.
- Personal work on trauma or skill deficits can improve relationship dynamics, demonstrating the necessity for targeted personal development and support.
- Investing in mental health is equated to investing in personal wellness and self-improvement, with substantial benefits for individual and relational understanding.
8. 📊 Financial Wellness: Goals and Emotional Well-being
- Only about 20% of people with a diagnosed illness receive support, highlighting the gap in addressing mental health issues.
- Strong relationships can significantly enhance well-being, indicating the importance of relationship-building for emotional health.
- Many people have an adverse relationship with money, which can be identified if conversations about money cause discomfort or anxiety.
- Financial literacy is a teachable skill, yet many people believe they are inherently bad with money, reflecting a need for education and mindset change.
- Everyone has beliefs about money, but the usefulness of these beliefs varies, suggesting a need for personal reflection on financial attitudes.
9. 🏆 Overcoming Financial Challenges: Personal Beliefs
9.1. Understanding Personal Beliefs and Financial Goal Setting
9.2. Observing and Bridging Financial Behaviors and Habits
9.3. Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Financial Management
10. 🛤️ Understanding Money Beliefs: Personal and Social Influences
10.1. Money as Identity and Status
10.2. The Importance of Understanding Financial Motivations
10.3. Behavioral Insights into Financial Planning
10.4. Social Dynamics of Spending
10.5. Podcasts and Financial Discussions
11. 🛠️ Engaging Partners: Effective Communication Strategies
- Create an environment where difficult conversations are normalized, allowing for open discussions without judgment. This can be achieved by fostering a supportive atmosphere and encouraging honesty.
- Utilize professionals in discussions to provide conflict management tools and teach repair techniques, which can decrease tension and improve communication outcomes.
- Incorporate diverse formats into events, such as blending money coaching with investment advice, to actively engage partners in financial discussions.
- Explicitly communicate the event's importance and how partner involvement is valued to encourage participation. Avoid passive or vague invitations, as they may not convey the significance of the event.
- Offer genuine reasons for wanting a partner's presence, like needing support in understanding complex information, rather than using accusatory language, to foster a positive response.
12. 🔑 Expressive Language: Unlocking Personal Insights
- Using the phrase 'a part of me' allows individuals to express complex emotions and uncertainties, enabling more nuanced and less confrontational conversations.
- This expression helps in acknowledging that multiple feelings can coexist, such as feeling nervous and intrigued simultaneously.
- Emphasizing a part of one's feelings can prevent conversations from becoming overly negative and invites more open discussion.
- The phrase is particularly useful in relationship settings where expressing uncertainty can lead to more constructive dialogue.
- It aids in communicating temporary feelings without making absolute statements that might be misinterpreted as final decisions.
13. 💔 Financial Anxiety: Addressing and Overcoming Barriers
- Express financial anxiety clearly in relationships by asking for help and discussing uncertainties to foster a supportive environment.
- Plan financial discussions in advance by scheduling specific times, allowing both parties to prepare for the conversation.
- Utilize gentle language to highlight the importance of financial discussions, aligning them with shared future goals.
- Encourage seeking professional support when financial discussions cause anxiety, emphasizing personal involvement in finances.
- Avoid initiating financial discussions during stressful moments; suggest settings like therapy if necessary.
- In parent-child dynamics, establish trust early on to facilitate financial conversations.
- Avoid projecting personal experiences onto adult children and recommend professional advice for serious financial issues.
- Teach children to navigate financial conversations by involving them in discussions about contributions to expenses like education or weddings.
- Communicate financial support to adult children as unconditional, ensuring it is clearly discussed.